Monday, February 9, 2009
"life is hard...then you die" This is a statement my dad made so many times growing up and still does unfortunately. It stinks!! How can you even want to grow up if thats the case anyway?! Tonight, I'd rather not be an adult at all. Too much responsibility...its too hard! I would rather just "play" all day and be carefree and wild.
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I can identify Hinds, I used to call it Peter Pan syndrome... but in recovery I can see that my avoidance of responsibility and maturity has kept me down and kept me vulnerable... caught in the cycle of frustration - resentment- drink... that fuels my addiction and drives my life.
I can say today that I know God desires me to develop maturity and that is what I am trying to do... my father too was a cynic. I was not made to think or be the same way, it is toxic thinking to me and drives me to sedate. In Christ, I am and can be more than the sum of my parts. For me, there's a time for everything, and this is the time to put away the past and be relieved of the hurts... and come into my own though I don't really know what that will be. Blessings to you gal...
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